Finding Creativity in Tears

Audrey cried tonight. She cried, and it reminded me very much of Christen. You see, she was crying but wouldn't tell me why; she just wanted to be held and cry. Christen did that sometimes, and it didn't matter how many times I asked or in how many ways, she wouldn't say what was going on until she was ready. It was something I adjusted to and learned to adore - the ambiguity of not knowing what was happening (which is really hard for guys, just so the ladies reading this know) but knowing that she was seeking me for security and comfort in that moment.

Tonight was Audrey's turn. We had just finished watching a movie - Wall-E had come from Netflix - and I could tell something was up. She went into her room, put on her pajamas, came back out to the living room in quiet tears and crawled in my lap, placing her head on my shoulder. I asked her a couple of times what was up, but she said absolutely nothing. I knew the routine, so I waited and just held her. Eventually, she picked her head up and said that she didn't really have a reason for crying. The music from the movie had simply stirred her emotions in such a way that she began to weep. And I gained a new understanding of my daughter.

Audrey is sensitive. I have always known that to be true. For all her strong-willed (read: flat-out stubborn) responses to me, she is very tender inside and has to be spoken to gently. This was something different, however. There wasn't an event that kicked off her tears. Something terrible didn't happen. She didn't stub her toe. Hudson didn't pull her hair or take a toy. The movie had a happy ending.

In addition to being sensitive, Audrey is also very creative. She writes stories and songs. She colors and paints. She acts out elaborate dramas, tracking multiple plot lines across the many characters she plays. Her crying over the music was a connection of her sensitivity to her creativity.

Audrey felt the music in a way that caused an internal reaction which evoked an emotional response. Honestly, and I don't mean this in a new-agey hyper-spiritual sort of way, but her response was from her soul. She felt something in the music playing on the soundtrack. Maybe is was the orchestration; perhaps the chord progression; possibly even the vocal lines and harmonies. Truly, I couldn't pinpoint it. But something happened inside Audrey, and she felt in that moment the most appropriate response was to weep. It was beautiful.