Christen's Funeral Message

As many of you know, some because you were there and others because you heard or have read the early posts of this blog, I preached Christen's funeral. While I do not feel obligated to get into the details as to why I chose to do that, nonetheless I believe it is beneficial to do so. After this brief explanation, please take a moment to watch and listen to the message God helped me to deliver at Christen's Going Home Celebration (for that was what is was - this was no ordinary 'funeral service').

*The audio for the message was recorded from the main sound board, so it sounds great. However, since there was not a 'video person' at the service, the video was captured by a few iPhones and an iPad and spliced together for the sake of some sort of visual. Thus, have grace for the imperfections in the video and pay closer attention to the audio.*

To understand the decision, you must first understand the context from which the decision was made. Since 2009, the Lord has been revealing and refining my call to ministry, the overarching theme being that He has called, confirmed, and equipped me to preach, teach, and write. With that in mind, and considering the fact that Christen and I were in perpetual conversation with one another, this was a frequent topic discussed in our home. What was the Lord doing in us? How would this call play out? What would Christen's role in all of it look like? Are we planting a church or building a ministry within our current church? Perhaps the latter first and then the former? We had no concrete answers to these questions, and thus we remained rooted where we were, doing what the Lord put before us while we continued to aggressively pursue His will for our life. Many opportunities came up, which we took before the Lord. He always said, "No, that's not it," because He's faithful to reveal His will to those who ask, seek, and knock like the persistent widow.

I tell you all of this so that you can begin to understand - we were operating under the belief that I would eventually be regularly preaching and teaching somewhere, whether our current church or one that the Lord led us to start. It was in this context that we had the conversation about my preaching her funeral.

It came about because of a few messages we had heard by Pastor Mark Driscoll from Mars Hill Church in Seattle, WA. I've racked my brain, but I can't think of exactly which message it was we were listening to when we talked about it. However, Pastor Mark talks about this relatively frequently, especially when he's preaching on men in ministry or preaching or marriage, so if you want to do some digging, you won't have to look too far. Start here and see what you find. As an extra note to this, I must say that the teaching of Pastor Mark on marriage and family caused a revival in our home during the final two years of Christen's life. Specific messages of his altered how I prioritized my time, how Christen viewed being a stay-at-home-mom, how we viewed our marriage in light of the ministry, and even our sex life. Truly, our home dynamic underwent a dramatic and positive change. So, should Pastor Mark ever come across this post, I would say to him: Thank you.

It was in one of his messages where he stated that he prays often, if not every day, that God would allow him to outlive his wife, the appropriately named Grace, so that he can take care of her until such a time as the Lord takes her to be with Him. He wants to preach her funeral and lead her in that as well. Christen and I were stunned. We loved it. We agreed at that moment that I would preach her funeral, that I would be the person to shepherd those closest to us in that moment and to speak forth the gospel and the glory of God, the very things for which she and I stood most stridently.

When we had this conversation and came to this agreement, we did not realize it would come to fruition so soon. Remember, we were thinking in the context of 'down the road' where I was already an established preacher. We didn't know that the first sermon I would ever preach would in fact be her funeral. And yet this was what lay before me upon her passing. I told my pastor what I intended to do, and he graciously offered no resistance, only support and encouragement. By the grace of God, on January 13, 2012, four days after Christen's passing, I stood up and delivered the following message. I pray it will be a blessing to you, and please share it with others as you find it beneficial.