Carrying the Torch

I ran across this unfinished draft from Christen's blog the other day:


I am on the quest to enjoy each moment in my day.  That can be a challenge some days, as our sweet children can be a handful.  Their attitudes reflect an ugly sin nature that I pretend like I'm surprised to see.  I know that they are so less sinful than anyone else.  It's just a pain to deal with.  You see, we are not interested in behavioral adjustments.  We pray that the Lord would overshadow them and give them a new nature.  Oh Lord, save our kids!


I want to highlight a few phrases that reveal what our hearts were/are as parents. Since I am now the only parent, I carry this heart for the both of us.

"Their attitudes reflect an ugly sin nature that I pretend like I'm surprised to see."
It's true, I admit it. My kids sin. It's a shocker, I know, but let's all try to hold it together. All rhetoric aside, too often as parents we are surprised when our kids reveal the nature with which they were born. When they lie or shove or don't share, we respond with amazement, especially if other parents are around. We act as though it's the first time anything of the sort has ever happened. The key word of Christen's is 'pretend'. We aren't actually surprised when our kids sin. We fake it either because we have allowed naivety to take over our parenting or because we have fear of man issues and don't want the disapproving glances from people. Sin is sin, and we should deal with it in our kids in the same way God deals with us - with grace and truth. Love and discipline. But not surprise and reaction. Let's stop pretending and start teaching (I'm preaching to myself as much as anyone reading!).

"You see, we're not interested in behavioral adjustments."
Two things need to be pointed out here. First, making behavioral adjustments without an element of grace and a presentation of the gospel breeds legalism. Sin requires repentance, repentance garners forgiveness, forgiveness necessitates restoration of relationship. If we correct without a gospel-oriented parenting style, we teach our children to do 'this and that' in order to remain in good favor. That's legalism and religious observance rather than relational communion. In so doing, our children will learn to relate to God in exactly the same way.
Second, notice that Christen wrote this on her own, but she used the word 'we' in reference to how we want to parent our children. To the gentlemen reading this: You are responsible for how your children are parented, not just your wife. Christen was the one with the kids for the vast majority of the time they were awake. But she wasn't alone in doing it. We spoke often about how we were going to discipline the kids, structure their days, educate them, devote them to the Lord, and on and on. She primarily executed these plans, but I was involved from top to bottom. Could I have done better or more? I am certain that's true. Yet her words here indicate that we operated as a unit, not individuals. Fellas, don't omit yourselves from these processes. It's amazing.

"We pray the Lord would...give them a new nature."
Salvation and discipleship is the primary reason the Lord gave us kids. He has rewarded us, and now me, with this responsibility for the sole purpose of raising them to be disciples of Christ, dedicated to His service, vessels open to His purposes, enjoying Him forever as their source of life. I pray to this end with them every night. I read them the Bible for this reason. I answer their questions, however 'silly', because I want them to know that their father is available to answer their questions and to therefore know tangibly that their Heavenly Father is available for them. New hearts and renewed minds. So be it, Lord.