I don't sleep well right now. I'm trying to run my brain into the ground before my head touches the pillow. Trouble is, that's always after midnight, Hudson crawls in sometime shortly after that, and both kids want to be up by 7:30am at the latest. I'm right now fighting my cold and Hudson's, Audrey having just come through it. I'm also trying to make sure my kids will be taken care of 12 hours/day, Monday-Friday, until I can figure out a way to effectively work from home (all while providing for my family and paying down medical costs). I have tons of available help, so I'm not complaining. I just loved having Christen doing those things and filling those roles. At the end of the day, even as I fill all the "needs", my kids are motherless, and I've lost "my lover and my friend" (SoS 5:16).
That being said, I preached Christen's funeral. Spoke on Rom.5:1-5... I'm planning to post it to YouTube and email the story and link to Mark Driscoll (whose messages on marriage most powerfully impacted the final two years Christen and I had together and ultimately led to our conversation of my prayer to outlive her and preach her funeral...just didn't realize it'd be so soon and also my first sermon). I want to see this get big. Why? Because Christen was the most amazing person I've ever known, and I'd like to introduce both her and Jesus to as many people as I can. I'll speak anywhere, publish anything, so that the gospel and the glory of God will impact people. These were Christen's themes, and they're what we talked about most. God's glory being magnified through this is what I'm after. I can think of no better way to honor Him, her, or provide for my family. I'm not eager to grieve, but I am eager to see God work in and through this. And me.
Nick and I were talking last night at dinner about how we know God is going to doing powerful things through you, Joe. There's no doubt that Gods hand is on your life. He's given you Christen's testimony and life to use and talk about. I'm excited to see what He is going to do through it and through you! God bless you, brother.
ReplyDeleteP.s.- I have a blogspot as well but haven't written in years. You and Christen have really inspired me to continue to write so hopefully you'll be see posts from me in the near future too.
I agree Emma, this has ignited my heart in a tremendous way for my Lover and to write again. I pour over Christen's blog and marvel at the memorial stones we have before us, of a life lived authentically "in this world" but with eyes set on Zion.
DeleteJoe, we are behind you in prayers and I think it's so wonderful that you will be sending your story to Mark Driscoll. May God's will be done - and may Jesus be exalted in ways that are beyond finite comprehension. PS. 126:5-6 is just one promise I'm praying for you.
Your sis,
Shelly
joe, my son robert (2) and i pray for you three every night at bedtime. tonight we prayed for you to sleep well, then i read this post. we'll keep praying for good rest, especially for you! *hugs*
DeleteI attend Mars Hill Church, and the marriage sermons have also impacted my marriage. I am thankful you and your wife were able to experience those sermons as well. I am sure Pastor Mark would love to hear your testimony!
ReplyDeleteWow! That's great that you're out there. If I lived in the area instead of Chicago, MHC is where I'd be hands down. Quick question: is there a good way to get in contact with Pastor Mark? All the websites just have general contact info. I know that he has people to screen his emails so he's not stuck on email his whole life, but I'd love to know how to get this testmony in front of those people. If they choose to 'move it up the chain', all the better. If you know of a good way to do this, please email me at Joseph.ringle@gmail.com
DeleteThanks!