The Language of Your Mission is Important

I have written in other posts about the fact that I am a word person. I love words. I love turning a series of words into a memorable phrase. Sometimes it is for the sake of humor, other times to make a point, and other times to define a purpose. And yet for all the time and energy I put into crafting sentences (yes, that includes when I'm simply having a conversation; I'm always searching for the best word for that moment), there was a glaring mistake in a key area of language in my life - my mission statement.

I fashioned my mission statement over five years ago after going through a series of classes/lectures/discussions at my church on leadership. I spent months reading and gathering phrases that truly captured my heart for why I am here and what I am here to accomplish. I had pages of quotes and even more pages of ideas, key words, random thoughts, all compiled so that I could sit down, take a 50,000 foot fly-by view of them and latch onto the theme of my life's purpose. Then I sat down and wrote it all out.

And I fully believed I'd nailed it.

My mission has been this: To be joyfully spent making others glad in God.

It's short. It's memorable (for me and others). It uses words that are important to me and how I am wired. It puts forth the notion that I desire to tirelessly work for the advancement of the Kingdom of God and seeing others fall in love with Him. It was perfect!

.....or so I thought. Recently, as I hinted at in my previous post, I was awakened to the fact that something was amiss in my well-crafted, pithy mission statement. Take a look at it again and ask yourself this question: Based on that phrase, whose responsibility is it to see others made glad? For those who are not so grammatically inclined, the answer is - me. My mission statement would have you believe that I am responsible for others becoming glad in the Lord. Let me be very clear at this point: that is utterly and completely impossible.

I cannot make someone glad in God. I cannot incline their hearts toward Him. I cannot overcome sin and death and the enemy in someone else's life. I cannot do that for even my own life! I could certainly spend myself attempting to do this, but it would lead to failure after failure because that is a mission that I cannot accomplish. If I never changed this phrase, I would live a life wherein my mission would come to nothing.

I was shocked as the Lord revealed this to me. You see, I was placing to onus of responsibility on myself, when in reality, only God can make someone glad in God. Only He has the power and love and grace and mercy to change a man's heart and renew his mind. No amount of human effort will ever soften a heart to the point of turning to God. 'There is none who seek God; no, not one.' No matter how eloquently I speak, without the anointing of the Holy Spirit, no one's ears will be unstopped so that they can truly hear the message of the Gospel. It is God's job, and only His, to transform people.

Some of you reading this might be thinking, 'Gosh, Joe, take it easy. So you phrased something wrong. It's not that big of a deal.' I would say in response the same thing Bill Hybels leads with in his book Axiom: language matters. This seeming slip of grammar actually revealed my heart's true position. I wanted to be the one to see these things happen. I wanted to be the teacher, preacher, counselor, mentor, friend who saw people's eyes opened to the beauty of the Gospel and the joy and peace found only in Christ. Is that a bad thing? On the surface, no. But it shows a tendency to place that pressure on myself rather than humbly submitting all things to the Lord and getting out of His way to move in people's lives. I was taking the posture of the little train that could, 'I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.' I am guilty of a Superman complex, attempting to do far more than what He would have for me to do.

Please hear me well and clearly on this: I do want to see all of these things happen. I want to be used by God for great things. I want to see many and more people freed from guilt and shame and rejoicing in their joy and freedom in Christ. More than anything, I want that. What I have realized is that I want to see that happen, whether I am directly involved in the process or not. Thus, I have rephrased my mission. The difference may seem slight, but for me it's like jumping over the Grand Canyon using a pogo stick. This was a revelation only God could have brought about in my life. Here is the updated version:

To be joyfully spent seeing others made glad in God.

Do you see it? I am effectively out of the picture with this. I still want to give everything I have to God with joy ('joyfully spent'), but I am not making others glad. I am seeing them made glad. Which means what I am committing myself to is keeping my eyes open for wherever God is working and putting my energies there, joining in where He is already at work, giving the gifts He has given me back to Him for His people, and standing back to see what He does with it all. I fully believe my joy in Him will be magnified all the more as I remove myself from the scene and watch Him work out 'all things for the good of those who love Him.'

The Dream that Woke Me Up

Have you ever had a moment where you really wanted to do something, something you knew wasn't in God's will for your life and He just wouldn't let you do it? Your flesh is simply screaming for you to engage in something - a behavior, a relationship, a mindset - and it is almost as thought the Lord is right there, calmly but irrevocably saying, 'No. I am not letting this happen. I don't care how bad you think you want it. The answer is no.'

This was my experience recently. And I love Him for it.

I found myself in a situation where I wanted, with everything worldly in me, to settle into a mindset that was contrary to much of what I previously strongly held. I started toying with the idea slowing down, focusing on 'me', doing what I needed to do to ensure I was set up, comfortable, able to live without some of the pressures that have historically come when living sold out for the Gospel. I was still going to church, still involved in ministry, still had a heart for seeing God work in my life, my kids' lives, and the lives of those close to me. But I was not focused on God's heart for my neighbors or my neighborhood. I was not listening to what He wanted me to say to someone, how I should pray for people, or even what to write here. In short, I was distracted by my circumstances and focusing on what I needed for 'me'. And oh! how empty it felt. I was not living in a way that magnified eternity. I was trying to settle into the standard, middle-class, culturally Christian life.

And He wouldn't let me do it.

There came a moment, after a particularly stressful day, when it felt as though scales had been removed from my eyes. I looked around as though I was really seeing for the first time in months, and I thought, 'I don't want this. This isn't me. I will not do this anymore.' A few days later I had to have a few hard conversations, mostly with myself, and I went to bed feeling at peace. That night, I did something I do not do often - I dreamed. It was a lucid dream, and honestly there was only a very small portion of it that I remembered. Naturally, it is the part the took place right before I woke up. But it was THE point of the dream.

I dreamed of Christen standing by a tree. The tree was huge, and I couldn't see the top of it because of the brilliant light that was shining through it. I only glanced at the tree, though, because once I saw Christen, I could not take my eyes off of her. Her hair was a radiant blonde, as though light itself was coming from each individual strand. She was taller than she had been when she was here. And her face. It was free of both blemish and makeup. She appeared in one sense pale but in another sense illuminated. Her lips weren't any shade of pink or red - they were like a type of silver. Her eyes were like spotlights that pierced straight through me. And yet for all her terrifying beauty, I could not help but to go to her. I said, 'I've been looking all over for you,' and we hugged. Then I woke up.

I felt stronger, more assured of what I was doing and what I am supposed to do than I have felt since she passed. It was a confirmation to me that I was back on the right path, and that there would be help for me as I continue to live out this life of faith and hope, help from God Himself by way of His Son through His Holy Spirit.

There will be more to come on this, but since then I have reevaluated and edited my mission statement for the first time in over five years. And I have begun the process of getting lower before God and humbly coming to Him. Just coming to Him. Not so that I can do this or that. Not to garner more of something. Not even asking for the strength or faith to do great exploits for Him. Just getting low and coming to Him. What He does with that is all in His hands.

Hey Dude, Where's Your blog?

The last time I wrote was toward the end of June (on my & Christen's wedding anniversary, to be exact). Since then much has taken place. This post is meant to be a general update in answer to the title's question. I have been asked a few times (and only a few times, thanks to the sensitivity of those close to me), 'Are you still writing?' The fact is I was not. I had ideas, but even they slowed for a time. But the other day I felt the Lord impress upon to refocus. I had begun to settle into 'life', and Christen's words came back to reinvigorate me - Beloved, DO NOT SETTLE. So here I am, writing again. Here's what has gone on in the last few months (more will come of all of these snippets, to be sure, but it's a start):

For starters, Audrey has commenced first grade in public school. Many of you who previously read Christen's blog know that we homeschooled Audrey for the first couple years of her education. Prior to Christen being sick or passing, we had decided it was the best move for her to go to school outside the home. I am not interesting in starting a debate on this topic (at this point in time), but suffice it to say that we made this decision understanding all of the implications and feeling it was the best move for our family. So, off she went....for 4 days and then the teachers went on strike for 9 days....and then she started again! It's been a few weeks now, and Audrey is [mostly] doing well. She's bright, she's well-mannered, and she seems to get along with several people in her class. Her teacher said to me once, "She's very well behaved, and she's SO empathetic with any of the kids who are having a rough time." I was a proud papa on that one. Still, she has her struggles - namely that she doesn't understand why some kids just won't listen to the teacher! We are figuring out a good routine as each week passes and getting better with it. I am learning a ton about what it means to have a school-aged child. Better adjust fast - next year they'll both be in school. Yikes! But that's a separate post all together.

Additionally, I started in a new job in mid-August. I am currently the E-learning Systems Technology Analyst for Lurie Children's Hospital of Chicago. That's a fancy title. What it really means is that I work as an administrator, project manager, office manager, technology supporter, and database manager for all of the e-learning that takes place in the hospital, specifically as it pertains to training people to use the electronic medical records system. It's.....a lot. I am busy learning several systems at once while also learning a new work culture, new bosses, and a new team.

Also, I was quite busy through the summer working with the young adult ministry (called Advance) at my church. We saw some tremendous things take place, and it was a great blessing to be part of a team that came together to connect the young adults of our church to each other. It's a huge population in our congregation, and I have loved being involved with guiding and directing how we have done what we have done.

Beyond this, I have had the opportunity to speak a handful of times. I have had the privilege of speaking to a bible study largely made up of ex-convicts, to a small but growing church (both spiritually and numerically), to the young adults of my church, and to my hometown congregation in an outdoor service. Each engagement brought such a different dynamic to the table, and I was honored to get to speak about what the Bible says on a variety of topics - everything from the preeminence of Christ to His being sufficient for us. The responses of the people in each circumstance were as unique as the topics themselves. I was so grateful not only for the opportunity but also for the fact that God chose to use me to speak forth His Word. I felt greatly inadequate in and of myself, but I had such a confidence in what the Bible says and He enabled me to speak with boldness. I simply love seeing how God does that.

Through all of this, though, in the back of my mind, constantly, there was a desire to write. I have missed this. And so I shall write again. I believe now more than ever that this is something I must do, not just something I want to do. I allowed myself to be distracted - sure, with noble things, but distracted nonetheless - and I desire to be distracted no more. To write is part of my calling, a stewardship I have neglected for some months. I don't know what this blog will look like going forward - how often, when, what topics, etc - but it will not slip my time again. Even if I don't publish everything I put down, I will write. I look forward to what will come of it, just as I hope you will look forward to reading it.

Now, let's get started....